DEAR ABBY: My daughter’s in-laws have no place to go on holidays. They have two children, but haven’t spoken to one of them in several years, so my son-in-law is their only family close by.

I enjoy entertaining and having family over, but I really don’t care for their company. It’s a different vibe when they’re here because her father-in-law, “Sam,” and my husband drink too much and talk politics (both activities I avoid). They know how I feel, but make comments behind my back, thinking I don’t hear them.

My husband loves their company and goes out often with my son-in-law and Sam. My daughter understands how I feel. She doesn’t like to cook or entertain, but will host a holiday once in a while. However, it doesn’t solve the problem, because I end up doing a lot of the work and I miss not entertaining in my own home. Please advise. — CATCH-22 IN NEW YORK

DEAR CATCH-22: I’m not sure why you feel it’s your responsibility to entertain your daughter’s in-laws on every holiday. Discuss this with your husband (when he’s sober) and tell him you don’t like it when he and Sam get drunk, talk politics and make snide remarks behind your back. Inform him he should be more respectful, or the in-laws won’t be invited to your home for the holidays anymore.

Nowhere in your letter did you mention your daughter’s MOTHER-in-law. Do you have anything in common with her? If so, spend most of your time with her and your daughter or, once the meal has been served, ask them if they’d like to go out to a movie, get some exercise, etc. That way you won’t be forced to stick around when the “boys” overimbibe and indulge themselves in their favorite subject.

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