Opinion | Bo Hines’ Banana Republic Failure Should Launch A New GOP Fashion Line

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Retail politics are not what they used to be.

Bo Hines, the Republican nominee from North Carolina’s 13th District and a Trump-backed congressman, recently joined all talks of the United States becoming a banana republic. But Hines, a former college football player, spoke as if everyone was talking about clothing retailer Banana Republic.

“A lot of people have made a metaphor for what’s going on right now. I mean, we’re in a banana republic,” he told radio host John Fredericks. I mean, at least the Banana Republic manager knows where he is, why he’s there, and what he’s doing, unlike the president.

Hines’ campaign called it a “joke”. Ha! I almost ripped my pleated chinos.

Sorry, but that excuse is complete lululemon. Misinterpreting universal idioms, especially while denigrating President Biden’s mental acuity, suggests Hines isn’t very pet-smart With an IQ of 1 to 10, he’s a Five Below.

But now is the season for retail failures. Pennsylvania Senate Republican candidate Mehmet Oz’s campaign created a video of the candidate shopping at a Redners supermarket, which Oz misidentified as “Wegners” and apparently confused with Wegmans. He had his arms full of broccoli, asparagus, carrots, guacamole and salsa — supermarkets have carts, Dr. Oz — and blamed Biden for the high prices, saying, “It’s $20 a crudité, and this Doesn’t contain tequila.”

Dana Milbank: The Republican Party is sick. It didn’t start with Trump and it won’t end with him.

Only a man who owns 10 houses (and who owns 2) would call a plate of vegetables ‘crudités’. Salsa for vegetable dip? Call the Gazpacho police!

To be fair, there have been bipartisan grocery blunders over the years: George HW Bush’s magical encounter with a supermarket scanner, Dan Quayle’s defeat with potatoes, John Kerry’s Philly cheesesteak. Barack Obama ordered arugula at Whole Foods, Mitt Romney ordered a submarine at Hoagy Country, Gerald Ford ate tamales in the shell, Sargent Schreiber ordered Courvoisier at a steel mill bar.

But as usual, MAGA Republicans increased the amount of gaffes to 11. This ranges from silly-talking brains (like Fox News’ Sean Hannity when he introduced Kellyanne Conway as “Kellyanne Trump” in a segment mocking Biden’s cognitive function). ), well, to others who say stupid things (when Senator Tommy Tuberville, now a Republican of Alabama, claimed that the “three branches of government” were “the House, the Senate, and the Executive like).

Leading this coalition of dunces is Republican Senator nominee Herschel Walker from Georgia. He took the position that there are 52 states and argued that the theory of evolution is wrong. please think about it. “

Now consider Walker’s thoughts on the futility of fighting air pollution. So when China gets our good air, their bad air moves into… our good airspace. “

Crudite Passage Cleanup!

George T. Conway III: Trump didn’t get a cookie. No. I never have. what do you ask?

Still, young Bo Hines may have noticed something when he compared current politics to the Banana Republic store.

The retailer invites sedentary Americans to pose as 19th-century explorers in safari tents and sailboats, offering “pieces inspired by our history, bold visions and stories of imaginary journeys.” We encourage you to wear it.the clothes “Wink at our legacy.”

Perhaps Banana Republic can offer some new style winks at the imaginary journey MAGA Republicans are proposing to take America on:

  • White Nationalist Linen Line. Do you yearn for a time when only white men ruled America? Then run your wardrobe through The Great Replacement and go back to the old-fashioned hoop skirts, bodices and tail coats.
  • Stasi style. Show your fashion sense by wearing jackboots, baggy trousers, and belted military jackets popularized by the East German secret police when reporting to the state on the activities of teachers, journalists, and abortion seekers.
  • Dezinformatsiya line“We are worried about our agent, Mr. Trump,” reports Russian state television. Share your worries visually with her line of apparel inspired by classic Cossack her hats and grandmother’s headscarves.
  • Giuliani Collection. Trump Attorney Rudy Giuliani Becomes Subject to Criminal Investigation, His Chief Financial Officer Prepares to Plead Guilty, Top-Secret Government Files Found in Trump’s Home, Crisp Pins Defining Prison Chic She wears a striped and bold orange jumpsuit.

For Republicans, this new fashion branding will be a target. In fact, it’s deeply rooted in the anthropology that the MAGA crowd turned bananas.

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