\DEAR ABBY: For years, we have given generous gifts to our six out-of-town grandchildren and received almost no thanks or acknowledgment. It hurts my feelings because I devote a lot of thought, in addition to money, to choosing something special for each of them.

Obviously, they don’t care, but when we have just sent checks, not knowing what they read, wear or want, our checks are always cashed. It’s the same with gift cards. This year, we will send gifts to their parents — our own children. PERIOD. The grandchildren will receive your Letters Booklet — including the section on writing thank-you notes. Please send me six before the end of November. — TICKED OFF GRANNY IN OREGON

DEAR TICKED OFF: The issue you have raised is one I hear about often from other “ticked off” readers each year. I’m sorry you didn’t mention how old your grandchildren are, because the fault may lie with their parents, who should have taught their children this social skill from the time they were old enough to hold a writing implement. Some people procrastinate because they don’t know how to express their feelings via the written word and fear they will say the wrong thing. They mistakenly think a thank-you note must be long and flowery when, in fact, short and to the point is more effective.

This is why the “How to Write Letters” booklet was written. It contains samples of thank-you letters for birthday gifts, shower gifts and wedding gifts, as well as those that arrive around holiday time. (It also includes letters of congratulations and ones regarding difficult subjects, such as the loss of a parent, a spouse or a child.)

This booklet can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address plus a check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby Letters Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

With the holiday season fast approaching, this is the perfect time to reply with a handwritten letter, note or well-written email. Although handwritten notes are the “gold standard,” many folks these days opt to take a shortcut by using technology that didn’t exist before the quill and inkwell.

While texts may seem cold or terse, they are better than no acknowledgment at all.

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MORE FROM DEAR ABBY:

Dear Abby: 24-year-old has goals that don’t involve working in the family business

Dear Abby: My brother knew my ex-husband cheated on me and he kept it a secret from me

Dear Abby: I enjoy holiday entertaining, but not when my daughter’s in-laws come

Dear Abby: My family says it’s ‘necessary’ for my sister’s cheating ex to attend family gatherings

Dear Abby: Family disapproves of elderly relative’s friendship with a gay man

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order “How to Have a Lovely Wedding.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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