DEAR ABBY: My husband is desperate for women’s attention, and I’m sure he’d cheat on me the instant he had the chance. We have been together for 12 years. When we met, he was 24 and I was 31. I realize now that while I have had four long-term relationships and a fair share of sexual partners, my husband has had little sexual experience outside of our relationship.

Any time he’s around women, whether I am there or not, he makes it a point to strike up a conversation or gain their attention. It doesn’t matter if they’re young or old, attractive or not. He has fostered many “friendships” with women I don’t know, like gas station attendants or his employer’s office staff.

He swears he has never cheated, and I have never found any solid proof other than pornography. I just can’t shake this feeling that he needs or wants to experience other women, and I don’t know what to do. Please help. — MORE EXPERIENCED IN SOUTH DAKOTA

DEAR MORE EXPERIENCED: If you haven’t talked with your husband about this, do it now. Your husband may not be a wannabe philanderer as much as a plain old-fashioned flirt. People of both sexes need validation, particularly if their self-esteem isn’t the highest. You won’t know what’s really driving him unless you can discuss it. If necessary, a marriage and family therapist may be able to help the two of you communicate on a non-threatening level.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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