DEAR ABBY: I have lived in my apartment for nine years. When I moved in, I met a woman who moved in about the same time. We became friendly, and I enjoyed talking to her at the pool and mailbox — until I got to know her better. She has alienated all the other neighbors and kids in the complex with her attitude. She butts into conversations and asks personal questions, despite claiming to “mind her business and keep to herself.” Abby, I was raised to be forgiving and understanding. I have reached out to her and taken her to the store and medical appointments, but then she freaks out, swears and demands that I speed up, take her to thrift stores, etc. She asks why I don’t take the freeway instead of surface streets with traffic lights.

I finally quit taking her places, but now she has started walking into my apartment, sitting down and asking me questions. She also gets mad when she sees I went to the store without her. How do I politely, but firmly, tell her to leave me alone and I no longer want to have anything to do with her? She makes me anxious and drives me crazy. I understand she’s lonely, but she’s a miserable person to be around. — DOORMAT GUY OUT WEST

DEAR DOORMAT GUY: If you know someone will walk into your apartment uninvited, for heaven’s sake, lock your door! If this neighbor rings the bell or knocks, tell her you are busy and cannot entertain her and shut the door. If she corners you and rants about you having gone to the store without her, tell her in plain English WHY you stopped doing it. That said, I think it would be more hurtful than helpful to point out the other reasons she has made herself a social pariah.

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MORE FROM DEAR ABBY:

Dear Abby: My boyfriend’s dad feeds our pup table scraps and laughs at us when we ask him to stop

Dear Abby: Girl, 17, is happy with her 15-year-old boyfriend and seeks parents’ approval

Dear Abby: I thought my wife and I would do things in our retirement, but all she wants to do is sleep

Dear Abby: Before he met me, my husband did something I feel was morally repugnant

Dear Abby: Should I tell my friend, who is the queen of the hypochondriacs, what I think of her?

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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