DEAR ABBY: I’m 44, and I have been dating a wonderful man for the last year and a half. He’s 44 as well. He has a nice home and job and has 50/50 custody of his three children, who adore me. I’m good to them, and we all get along well, just like a family.

The problem is, he goes back and forth about marriage. I have made it clear that, although I have no desire to pressure him, I do want to be married again one day. I said I’d rather be let go than led on. He said he isn’t sure, and some days he says he may never remarry.

The last time we talked about it, he said it’s a “possibility,” but he didn’t want to be pressured — it has to be his idea. How long should I wait until I say enough is enough? I’m not getting any younger. — FIXED ON MARRIAGE

DEAR FIXED: When was the last time you had this discussion? You have described a man who is comfortable with things just the way they are. A year and a half is a reasonable amount of time to decide whether a relationship is serious enough to lead to something more.

Give him six more months, during which you do not mention the word “marriage.” By then, you will have invested two years. After that, ask if he has made up his mind about the two of you being married, and if his answer is anything less than yes, move on.

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MORE FROM DEAR ABBY:

Dear Abby: Man is unnerved by scantily clad stepdaughter

Dear Abby: Could my easygoing jocularity somehow make people think it’s okay to be rude to me?

Dear Abby: My husband isn’t into ‘trying’ to have a baby, he’d only be fine with it if it ‘just happened’

Dear Abby: My half-sister will not come to visit me, but she’ll pack a bag to travel with friends

Dear Abby: Our sexist financial adviser repeatedly calls and asks to speak to my husband

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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