In other words, soul mates are possible because our brains are wired.

What’s fascinating to me is that we are all unique. Our DNA is unique. Our faces are unique. Our brain is unique. And yet, we all have neural circuits in our brains that make us see other people as more special than everyone else. more valuable than people. Whether they call us or not, more is at stake.

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We take this ability for granted, but it’s not as common in the animal kingdom. There is a small rodent called the prairie vole that has a version of it. Prairie voles are grey-brown mouse-like creatures that don’t look particularly special. Unless, of course, you’re another prairie vole.

When a prairie vole finds another vole, they mate once. That’s it. They huddle together and chase each other everywhere. The interesting thing is that the mountain vole and the meadow vole have very similar voles. This difference between her two rodent brains has become a classic way to study the biology of monogamy and mating.

Prairie voles were found to have more oxytocin and vasopressin receptors in the striatum, a brain region associated with reward. These hormones are associated with feelings of trust, love and bonding. It’s the difference that allows prairie voles to create intimacy with their peers.

But even within a species, prairie voles can form varying levels of attachment. Voles have more and less oxytocin receptors. They are more attentive to their partners than other prairie voles, and lick more often. And then there are the wandering prairie voles who have “affairs.”

This diversity is also found in humans. The strength of the bonds we create varies greatly. Some people tend to be more caring. Some people have less.

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The million-dollar question is: How does the spark come about? The Law of Attraction is not fully understood. There are many theories in psychology, but they are not backed up by science. Some say they are looking for their parents. However, research has a different take on this.

If you look at neuroscience studies, you’ll see that in the case of monogamous rodents, it’s smell that binds them together.

We have a highly developed visual system and research shows that appearance is an important part of how we choose a mate. It may even be useful for

We see someone, we smell someone.

Biologically speaking, close friendships are also a kind of soulmate. People who become close friends often feel an immediate affinity for each other. We know that close friends have similar brain patterns. This year’s study found that close friends (researchers focused on friends who “clicked” right away) smell more alike than people who aren’t in a close relationship.

In this study, scientists picked 20 pairs of friends and asked them to wear the same T-shirt for several days to collect body odor samples. Scientists used electronic noses to identify chemical fingerprints of each person’s body odor. They compared pairs of close friends and random strangers and found that the chemical characteristics of “click friends” were far more similar than those of randomly recruited people.

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yes you can have multiple soulmates

The problem with soulmates is that they become imprinted on our brains. It’s a powerful biological system that we must respect, and whether it’s a breakup or a loss, it takes time to get over and heal someone.

But this is where things get complicated. This ability we have to make someone special – our brains can do it over and over again. That’s why we can have multiple soulmates in our lives.

A longtime friend and mentor of mine, who recently passed away, was in a relationship with a man over the years. He then died of cancer.

For decades she lived alone with no relationships. When she was 82, she started talking about this guy she met. She began to refer to him more and more.And she told me he fell in love with her and he moved in with her – after all those years

For eight years, until her death, they lived together and traveled around the world.

Some believe that we only have one soulmate in our lives. However, it interferes with the idea that after a breakup, you can find someone else and be happy.

Evidence is everywhere.

It reminds me of these neighbors from my old building in Manhattan. Her husband was gregarious and friendly and she was all smiles.

One day I saw my wife and she looked different — her smile was gone and she looked very sad. told me he died. For a year and a half, she seemed grief-stricken. It was heartbreaking. She got a senior golden retriever. But she continued to grieve.

Then I saw her come into the building and she smiled again. “She looks like a different person. It’s so good to see her happy again,” I thought. He told me that she had met someone new.

A week later I saw them holding hands in an elevator. It filled me with joy.

This ability to find a soulmate even after losing a great love is one of the reasons I love this field so much. I have a lot of hope. As a therapist and neuroscientist, I assist people with this indelible and powerful biology. Because if you know how to tweak it enough to help guide people in the right direction, the job is pretty much done. Biology takes over and guides much of the rest.