DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband for 23 years. We are both originally from Europe. He hasn’t seen his brother in 25 years, so we are planning to go on vacation near where his brother is currently living with his girlfriend. My husband will pay for them, as they can’t afford a trip, and they’ll be staying with us for two or three days.

My dilemma: My husband expects us ALL to share a two-bedroom hotel suite. Abby, I do not know these people. I’m anxious about sharing a suite with people I have never met and with whom I do not share a common language.

I have expressed my unease to my husband and asked if we could have two separate hotel rooms. He was very upset at my suggestion and said it will cost him more to arrange two rooms. He now wants to cancel the trip due to my “selfishness.” Am I being unreasonable? — NERVOUS IN NEW YORK

DEAR NERVOUS: Because your husband feels he cannot afford to pay for completely separate accommodations, tell him you will agree to his plan with certain ground rules in place. First, he must translate for you any conversations he has with his brother and the girlfriend in which you are present. (This is time-consuming, hard work!) Second, you will be free to take excursions on your own if you wish, so you aren’t trapped the entire time listening to conversations that are Greek to you.

Give it a try, and you may be pleasantly surprised to find you like your brother-in-law and his lady friend. If it turns out you don’t, you do not have to go along on your husband’s next visit, which may not happen for another quarter of a century.

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MORE FROM DEAR ABBY:

Dear Abby: Man is unnerved by scantily clad stepdaughter

Dear Abby: Could my easygoing jocularity somehow make people think it’s okay to be rude to me?

Dear Abby: My husband isn’t into ‘trying’ to have a baby, he’d only be fine with it if it ‘just happened’

Dear Abby: My half-sister will not come to visit me, but she’ll pack a bag to travel with friends

Dear Abby: Our sexist financial adviser repeatedly calls and asks to speak to my husband

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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