DEAR ABBY: My husband, “Randall,” was a widower when we met. His wife, “Sylvia,” had passed away in November 2010. We got married in October 2015. I recently was shocked to discover that Randall has kept Sylvia’s Facebook page open, supposedly so his grandchildren can send her messages on her birthday or anytime they feel like it.

Last September, he posted a message that read: “Happy Anniversary. Love you and miss you. 52 years today.” (If she were still living, that day would have marked 52 years of marriage.) When I read it, I realized that, in his heart, he still feels married to her. Am I wrong for feeling that way? — ONE OF TWO WIVES

DEAR ONE: I don’t think you are wrong, but please understand that some people don’t completely get over the death of a loved one, and your husband may be one of them. It’s not that unusual, if my Facebook is any example. People post about their departed parents, grandparents and even their pets, and memorial pages on Facebook after a person’s demise are not unusual. If you and Randall have a good marriage, I suggest you develop a sense of humor about it. Sylvia is not a threat to you unless you make her one. Knowing that may lighten your load.

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MORE FROM DEAR ABBY:

Dear Abby: Parents wonder whether to reveal previous marriages to their sons, now in their 30s

Dear Abby: If my grandkids want me to donate to their fundraisers, they need to ask me personally

Dear Abby: I’ve been seeing an older man who helps me financially, but I met someone else

Dear Abby: My son demands I tell his father and brother to call him to apologize for past behaviors

Dear Abby: I don’t regard a wedding as an excuse for a family reunion

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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