DEAR ABBY: When my husband and I married a year ago, I dropped my health insurance plan and joined his family plan, since he also provides coverage for his children, including one who is an adult. There was no additional cost to add me.

However, months later, the insurance company raised the monthly premium for all employees. When my husband talked to his adult child about helping to pay their share of the premium, they avoided an answer, and the issue was dropped. My husband recently raised the subject again, and was met with the same avoidance and excuses about not working enough hours at their job. They are not a full-time college student, either.

Shortly after the conversation ended, this adult child took to social media to rant about what a jerk their dad is for asking them to help pay, and then also posted several accusations that were untrue. This hurt my husband deeply, and his attempts to communicate are being ignored.

My husband was never heavy-handed about it. He was hoping that, as a young adult, they would understand why they were being asked to assist with their health care. Instead, it has turned into a childish, disrespectful attack. My husband now wants to remove this adult child from his insurance entirely, and I agree, even knowing the possible ramifications.

Does this make us bad people? Is it wrong to ask a young adult to help with the cost of their medical needs? — HURTING FOR MY HUSBAND

DEAR HURTING: Your husband’s child may be over 21, but they acted like a kid throwing a tantrum. Instead of appreciating what they have been given, they are demanding more. It would be a mistake to continue rewarding bad behavior. It wasn’t wrong to ask a young adult to contribute to the cost of their health insurance. Under the circumstances, removing this “child” from the insurance policy does not make you “bad” people; it makes you intelligent people.

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MORE FROM DEAR ABBY:

Dear Abby: I accepted packages that were delivered for my neighbor and she’s been nasty ever since

Dear Abby: I will no longer pay to see my grandkids

Dear Abby: My mother constantly berates my daughter about her looks

Dear Abby: With one stupid act, my dad lost his job, benefits and the respect of his family

Dear Abby: Do NOT permit emotional blackmail, parent is advised

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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