DEAR ABBY: I have been married to “Frank” for 2 1/2 years. We met and married quickly. Best decision ever. We each had raised two daughters as single parents with different parenting styles. Our girls now range in age from 30 to 33. They are adults with lives and children of their own.

My daughters have accepted and come to love Frank. They have always been respectful and inclusive. In the beginning, his daughters treated me okay. But after six months, the older one decided I could not be around her children because I “don’t like her.” I always treated her respectfully and did many things for her and her kids — babysitting, buying them things they needed, twice offering a place to stay when she was going through a divorce.

She was always the boss of her father, and he puts her first over all else. There were things they would do secretly and exclude me. Now he doesn’t see them at all. They don’t talk; they explode. I’m certain at some point I will be blamed for “keeping him away.” I no longer want anything to do with her, but I encourage Frank to see his grandchildren. I’m an emotional mess over this. What do I do? — BLENDING BADLY IN NEVADA

DEAR BLENDING BADLY: Because your husband’s family dysfunction is affecting your emotional well-being, consult a licensed mental health professional to help rid yourself of this undeserved burden. Because someone chooses to blame you for something you haven’t done doesn’t mean you must accept it. If you still have a relationship with your husband’s other daughter, concentrate on her and you will all be happier.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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