Dear Abby: I got angry when my fiancé referred to a co-worker as ‘baby’ and he says I’m overreacting
DEAR ABBY: My fiancé and I went to his co-worker “Tina’s” house on a Friday night to socialize and play trivia games. We had been at her place before, for a Christmas party. Tina wore a short skirt, and when she sat down you could see all the way up to her black lace panties. During our “heads-up” game she sat right across from my fiancé. While people were laughing and having fun drinking and playing games, all I could notice were her panties and Tina’s loud laughs. She was drinking, and my fiancé asked her, “Baby, are you feeling okay?” He said it loudly. Everyone heard it, and I felt myself getting really angry and red in the face. Why was he calling her Baby? We call each other that!
I don’t want to return to Tina’s house. My fiancé says I overreacted. He doesn’t tell me about his goings-on at work or about friend hangouts. We usually go out together alone. When I think back on that night, I still feel upset about it. Are my feelings valid? Do you think we need couples therapy before we get married? — UNEASY IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR UNEASY: Allow me to save you some money. Rather than tell your fiance you think you need couples counseling because his co-worker drinks too much, say instead you were not impressed by the performance Tina put on that evening, and you prefer the two of you skip game nights at her place and socialize with people with whom you have more in common.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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