DEAR ABBY: My wife is a very attractive 56. For years she has wanted Botox treatments. Recently, it has become more serious because she feels she looks like a grandmother. I (and others) continue to tell her how great she looks, especially when she dresses up.

I also tell her Botox is a short-term fix and will require subsequent treatments. Additionally, with each treatment, she will risk potential problems of infection, allergic reaction or medical mistakes. I remind her of the treatments that have gone wrong and that none of those women went to their doctors asking to look like a retired boxer.

At this point, I’m concerned she may be depressed about aging and wants to do something to improve her looks, but I’m standing in her way. I love her just as she is, and I don’t want her to do anything that ultimately could do damage. To me, the ultimate “depression” would be doing something harmful that can’t be corrected. Please advise me. — LOVES HER THE WAY SHE IS

DEAR LOVES: You clearly adore your wife and want what is best for her. That’s why you should consider scheduling a consultation for BOTH of you with a board-certified dermatologist who can explain the benefits and risks of using Botox. It may put some of your concerns to rest.

When administered by a medical professional, there is little risk of a bad outcome. While you are correct that the effects last only a few months, Botox is popular among women in her age group and those even younger. The only drawback is that it isn’t cheap. (During your discussion, you may also want to ask about other products that are available and last longer, such as fillers.)

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MORE FROM DEAR ABBY:

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Dear Abby: My daughter doesn’t want my common-law husband around her kids

Dear Abby: I recently found out that my 20-year high school reunion took place and I wasn’t invited

Dear Abby: It seems my boyfriend’s 22-year-old son isn’t interested in his father, grandmother or me

Dear Abby: Days before my daughter’s wedding, her fiancé called if off because she’s bisexual

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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