Teachers and families are more divided than ever – and students are losing

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There is no doubt that our schools are in crisis. The trauma of the COVID-19 pandemic, ongoing culture wars and disappointing educational outcomes have made the education discourse particularly charged. As many families have rightfully become more involved, they are often pitted against teachers, causing each side to pit against the other.
Across the country, we have seen conversations about education become charged. Books are banned from classrooms and libraries. The curriculum is stripped down and censored. School board meetings turn hostile.
As a kindergarten teacher at a public school in Oakland, California, I have seen these challenges widen the gap between teachers and families, especially over the past three years. My district was one of the last in the country to resume in-person learning and there was intense disagreement over how to safely reopen our schools, followed by a seven-day teacher strike where campaigns for resuming learning took place alongside campaigns to shut it down. We also had heated debates about how to address the reality of declining enrollment. But as much as these conflicts have threatened to divide us, I have seen my community and others collaborate and come together, which is what we need more than ever.
The pandemic has exposed and intensified many of the crises facing students today, especially those with marginalized identities. Too many students are reading below grade level, test scores continue to show limited math skills nationwide, and children and teens struggle with emotional regulation and mental health stress.
I saw this in my own class. Since the start of the pandemic, the 4- and 5-year-olds I teach often don’t have the fine motor skills needed to hold a pencil or use a pair of scissors. I had more first graders unable to spell their name or count to 10 than ever before. And my students often scream and cry during activities and transitions. The lack of early social and academic experiences caused by the pandemic still impacts many of our children today.
Instead of viewing these social, emotional, and academic learning issues as solely within the realm of parenting Or education, we can support students by working with families, developing a culture of respectful listening, and demonstrating a genuine united front. What helped my students grow the most was when their parents and I intentionally co-created a support system centered around them.
I intentionally worked to foster collaboration with the families in my class to help move my kindergartens forward and it made a difference. I use a text messaging app to communicate with parents in real time when issues arise and to share successes big and small with them. I invite as many coaches as possible to field trips and use these events as an opportunity to assess and be on the same page about how to address certain behaviors that we were seeing in real time. I spend more time talking formally at extra-long family conferences and informally with quick conversations during pick-up and drop-off.
What I have discovered is that inviting families as collaborators has not only strengthened my students’ performance in school, but it has also strengthened the bonds I have with their families. , which is important, especially when these relationships are strained in times of conflict. And conflict inevitably happens.
The issues facing schools are complex with no easy answers, so we will disagree. But parents and families must work with each other, not against each other, to jointly create the best schools for all of our children.
Our school has a site council made up of teachers, parents, and community members that exists to identify school-wide needs, propose and approve funding, and guide other decisions for the school community. . At our monthly meetings, we have disagreed on everything from creating an art room or computer lab, to positions to create or consolidate in our school. Yet, time after time, we find ourselves ready to work together, committed to our children, and as a result, our school has demonstrated better academic results, expanded resources available to students, and increased enrollment.
While working with families is necessary to ensure student success, it’s easier said than done. We all carry our own beliefs and bring our own biases. I’ve spoken to parents who said they didn’t like school when they were younger and felt belittled or invisible by teachers. I have heard of teachers who feel their professional autonomy is denied by parents who want to dictate what lessons are taught and how.
Too often it feels like schools are unilaterally dictated by the wishes of teachers and administrators Or parents and families, but the best schools take all voices into account. By finding common ground – no doubt the hopes and dreams we have for the children sitting in our classrooms – we get closer to building the schools we envision.
The collaboration between teachers and families is not only good for education, but it is good for democracy. When we encourage individual participation in the service of improving the collective educational experience, our schools become a reflection of the democratic values we hold in our society.
Living and working in Oakland, I see parents and teachers organizing through parent-teacher associations, labor groups, and other means to bring about change. In 2022, for example, members of the Oakland Unified School Board submitted a proposal to close and consolidate up to 15 schools in the district. My school was on that list. The plan was met with immediate pushback against the seven-member council. Teachers, families and students came together for rallies, sit-ins and strikes, and we raised our voices to make sure we were heard and counted. By the time school board elections were held months later, two members chose not to run again and another resigned. New members who had emerged with the support and approval of the community were sworn in. A year after the plan was proposed, it was canceled.
Now more than ever, teachers and families need to work together to ensure that all voices, especially those on the margins, are heard. We must work together to transform schools into spaces where families and teachers model respectful listening and showcase democracy in action for the benefit of those who matter most – our children. When teachers and families find themselves in hostile environments, pitted against each other, students lose the most. Our children desperately need us to unite us.
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